Archive for: April, 2008

Vanquish Striped Wifebeater

Apr 21 2008 Published by under Shirts, Tops

Vanquish Striped Wifebeater

Most wifebeaters come in the plain variety, but not this specimen from Vanquish. With pleasant, thick stripes and a large ‘VA’ logo, you’ll impress the crowds as you mow the front law, careful not to get any grass stains on your fashionable undershirt.

And if some neighbor comes over and asks why you’d spend over $50 dollars on a wifebeater, turn the tables and quiz him about his erectile dysfunction. After possibly the most awkward five minutes of your life, your dad will think twice about ever criticizing your wardrobe again!

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Dark Denim by Killer Treasure

Apr 20 2008 Published by under Denim

Dark denim by killer treasure

Dressy and exotic, these jeans by Killer Treasure are a perfect style for a night out on the town. Red stitching and zippers offer just the right highlights for this lush and deeply dyed denim.

Some people don’t care much for zippers, but I don’t mind. Cause you never know when you might have to bust out a cartwheel to impress a room full of empty chairs to convince yourself that renting an entire community hall for your birthday wasn’t a waste of money when nobody but the cab driver that drove you there showed. And he’s out having a smoke, preparing himself for the experience of what you promised to be an orgy of 400 strippers and pornstars waiting for him inside. You wouldn’t want to lose your bus change at a time like that.

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Varentine Night Club Shirt

Apr 19 2008 Published by under Shirts

Varentine Night Club Shirt

Night club fashion designer Varentine (that’s not a typo), has produced this interesting long sleeved shirt. Designed for a slim build, the shirt’s cut follows the elegant contours of a champaign binging, cigarette eating, spiritually famished Osaka male host. If you think that description is in anyway exaggerated, watch The Great Happiness Space: Tale of an Osaka Love Thief. It’s practically my bible. 

An innovative ‘D ring’ lies halfway up the arm and serves to anchor the cuff. Incase you want to show off your bulging biceps as you do arm curls with the karaoke mic.

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Charm Cult Worn Belt in Purple

Apr 18 2008 Published by under Accessories

Charm Cult Blue Belt

A stylish belt by the glamor outfit, Charm Cult. The worn purple leather and aged brass buckle reminds me of many a late night at the penthouse suite, MGM Grand.

You know, the one filled with loose women, unlimited cigarettes and a Tudor style Emperor-sized bed where I blast off one of my famous guitar riffs after scoring with three groupies. All of them women. Wait. I’m thinking of my other job. Hotel cler.. I mean rock star. Regardless, never doubt the power of having a decent belt buckle. It’s like adding an extra 3-inches to your wang.  

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Stillgreen Gloves: Python and Lamb Skin Badness

Apr 17 2008 Published by under Accessories

Python and Lamb Skin Gloves

Remember those BMX gloves from the mid-80′s that were once the statement of cool? Stillgreen has produced a pair of insane gloves that’ll have you thumbing the phonebook looking for old members of your B-boy crew. Featuring real python and lamb skin, they are of superb build quality and comfort.

Apparently, the gloves fit so damn well that picking up small objects, like coins in your pocket, is not a problem. Yes, the website actually says that in Japanese. What a clever way to market these $250 necessities. Like you’re going put on some Python skin gloves and challenge an Eskimo to picking up pennies off a frozen lake. And although your girlfriend swears she isn’t Eskimo, how does she explain her patchy mustache?

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