Stylish, dressy and loaded with all kinds of surprises, these shoes by Hiromu Takahara will make an incredible statement in any situation. A slightly worn and dusty look slides over delicately patched and worn textures.

If your Japanese streetwear wardrobe lacks any cyber-cowboy dress items, you obviously haven’t been watching enough anime. A person should be able to dress up like a 23rd century intergalactic cow herder and still be dealt with in a respectful and understanding manner. Even in Compton. Hey, if a rapper can wear a bed sheet and call it clothing, they shouldn’t have a problem with me creepin’ through the hood looking like Gackt. 

Rude dinner guests? Give them the boot! But before you do, offer to help them put on their shoes. This haraKIRI cobra shoehorn is designed to get people quickly out of your house. Or kill them. Because, if angled wrong, this silent ankle biter will have your company dead on the front porch. “Honey, we need the shovels again.”

I don’t care what you might have seen in movies, always dig graves in the backyard; not the front, and gardening past midnight will likely wake up the whole bloody condo. The next thing you know, you’re being chewed out at the monthly tenants meeting. And it has nothing to do with peeing in the elevators. Hey, it’s not like I’m taking number 2’s in there. The laundry room has much better reading material.

An eye catching wallet by accessories specialists Obelisk. Intricate pattens and textures cover this entire wallet. The reptile skin and micro-detailed artwork blend together in rich colors and style.

But a word of warning: this wallet only accepts platinum credit cards and stacks of crisp hundreds. Yes, I tried to fit in a bus pass and some loose change. It was a definite no-go.

I guess l’ll just have to make use of my George Costanza inspired mini-accordion wallet for a little while longer. Well, until my Nigerian friend gets back from validating my savings account. Oh hush. I’ll let you in on the scheme after I chrome my first Enzo. 

Another stunning design by Yasuyuki Ishii. This time he’s constructed a pair of post-apocalyptic looking leather boots through meticulous patchwork and sewing. These are the boots a fashion conscious road warrior from the future would wear as he saves a town from a traveling band of ex-WWE stars. Sorry, did I say stars?

Anyway, these boots look like they could really kick some ass, but I’d be careful wearing them up Mt. Fuji or someplace. Sherpas would undoubtably make a grab for them in your sleep, leaving you to ride the escalator up with the rest of the old people and Uniqlo staff. They must have a Uniqlo up there by now.

TroisO has released this incredible bracelet that comes with all sorts of fine details forged into its silver links. This bracelet is a part of the Think Balance collection, which asks us to evaluate our lives from the ying-yang philosophy of the East.

Speaking of balance, wearing this hefty piece on your wrist would definitely warp your posture. Being way too cheap to buy a second one, your best bet would be to hold a dumbbell in your other hand while politely telling your driving instructor that it’s the only way to stop driving around in circles. But after displaying your mastery of the continuous U-turn, he seems unimpressed, and you’re forced to boast about your knowledge of NASCAR. He still fails you, but that doesn’t stop you from driving school buses. Man, some people just don’t understand Japanese streetwear at all!

Dress for comfort, but don’t forget about style! IZREEL has produced this suave new track jacket with many fine details. Carefully chosen colors and fabric, will guarantee this coat to look anything but ordinary. It’s not exactly cheap at around $400, but that hasn’t stopped this hot item from selling out.

I don’t see how the Japanese can afford so much gear. I mean, after personal robots, giant manga collections, and a hefty pachinko budget, where do they cough up the dough to look so trendy? Maybe it’s video games. Maybe the score you get when you play Capcom’s Knights of The Round is what the Japanese get paid in Yen. And for all these years we’ve been plugging our quarters away just to write C.O.K. in the high scores.  

Citizen presents their finest quartz driven mechanical watch. Normally costing thousands more for a time piece of this design, Citizen has managed to price this affordably, starting at around $1500. Each watch from this collection has been impeccably handcrafted and features a distinct look. Nowadays, it is rare to find a mechanical watch this cheap and of this quality. Import this watch from 21 Jewels in Singapore, or Higuchi San in Japan.

I like the day and night indicator. I know there’s a fancy word for it, but the rest of my browser windows are loading porn. The funny Moon Man looks trapped inside the watch, but every night he gets a chance to peer out at your dresser and wonder why anyone would need the entire line of Axe deodorant. You’d think that by getting ‘roof duty’ at your job everyday would be a clear enough message from your co-workers. Yes, you’re watching for airplanes. Even terrorists hate the Sharper Image. 

Another amazing piece from Justin Davis. Silver and cubic zirconia are forged together to produce this jaw dropping design from the Nubia collection. I like how the lion has a ring of its own. It’s like he’s sort of saying, “Dude, my head might be mounted on your puny finger, but at least my ring has a diamond.”

Looking down at your finger, you think, this lion is right, how come my ring is now only second best!? After a brief 30 minute tug-of-war for the diamond you stop shouting profanities at your finger. But only because you want to remain in the movie theatre. Your girlfriend says she’s so embarrassed, but that’s because she’s fat. 

Master craftsman Yasuyuki Ishii has released this beautiful toque. The detailing of the insignia is fantastic, and really shows what Japanese streetwear is all about. If you look closely, one side of the design is slightly darker than the other, giving the illusion of depth. This incredible piece also comes in black, but I prefer it in white for its purity and eye-catching pop.

Speaking of wearing white, you’d better make sure no dirty children try to make a grab for your head while wearing this toque. Because the next thing you know you won’t leave the house without it bundled up in saran-wrap. A month later and it’s the hottest trend in hip-hop: Nas and Jeezy sporting all their gear covered in plastic, held in place with elastic bands. Kind of like grandpa’s couch. Only that it’s phat. 

John Bull delivers total comfort with his Old Parka hoodie. The sweater comes in three colors: grey (shown), neutral and black. Long draw strings, a slightly weathered feel, and use of top-notch fabrics place this hoodie high on this summer’s must-have list.

This would make a nice accompaniment for those evenings on the pier, walking a pair of chocolate labs whilst sipping $12 lattes with my hot Swedish nanny. She’s the one that takes care of my kids. And by kids, I mean, my balls. See what I did there? Bizzang!