What could have possibly inspired shoemaker Dragonbeard to create this utter monstrosity of fashion. It’s like they hired the Pontiac Aztec design team and then invited teenaged drift racing fans to choose its colors. If this shoe was a car, it would drive through a circus tent and clowns would tumble out of it.

Sure, I’ve gone on record as not being the biggest fan of the company, but their shoes have become quite a mainstay on the Island and it’s impossible to ignore their proficiency at churning out interesting styles. So I’m really hoping this is just one of their edgier designs and not some trend we’ll see more of after this summer. I mean, just looking at the heels on these fuglies makes me want to splash White Out in my eyes!

I’m loving all the details worked into these Red Pepper jeans. The stitching, zippers, studs, and chaotic distress patterns are the kinds of features that you’d expect from a highly stylized pair of Japanese jeans.

The look is reminiscent of LA’s denim scene, and in certain ways Osaka can be seen as the West Coast equivalent for streetwear fashion in Japan. In comparison, Tokyo often shows a more sophisticated and conservative dress code that can be found in world cities like New York and Paris. Indeed, the rest of Japan seems to think that the people of Osaka lack refinement in both their dress and mannerism – and Osaka’s dwellers hardly disagree! Known for their loud, expressive and somewhat aggressive behavior, Osaka remains true to her merchant roots, and what these people seemingly lack in taste, they compensate with personality and humor.

Like, if a 50-year old Mama-san wearing shredded jeans and a shirt covered in skulls and pistols wants to know if you’re waiting in line or simply loitering near a checkout till, she’ll likely elbow her way past you muttering something about your greasy forehead and nauseating odor. And god bless her. This is the real Osaka they didn’t mention in the travel brochure!

Trust your masculinity? Then it’s time to consider a man-bag! This classy Boston-style bag from Boycott resembles more of a stylish gym bag than a ‘handbag’, as some people might stubbornly call it. With the usual attention to details, like side pockets for your gadgets and a large zipper for easy access to your stuff, this bag is not only meant to compliment your savvy looks but also be highly functional. The carryall is made of cotton, comes in three colors and is purportedly quite durable.

But unless you’re situated right near a major fashion center, you may want to consider topping off your man-luggage with a couple copies of Maxim, a 6-pack of beer and a some random construction tools. For you never know what your jealous co-workers might say if they caught you pulling out a battery powered hair dryer and some Biore zit strips - keep that stuff on the freakin’ down-low!

Accessories for men need to be taken seriously; you shouldn’t have to act all awkward and uncomfortable when another man asks to check out your goods. Instead, you should confidently make your way from the showers to the locker room and proudly show off your man-bag. Masculinity secured!

These authentic Levi’s 201, No. 2, 1911 style jeans are being sold for a cool $33,000 - a bargain price, the seller claims. This low-ounce selvedge denim features suspender hooks and an adjustment buckle on the back. The stitching is linen and the patch is made of fabric (not leather).

Obviously these jeans are still in wearable condition and have a lot of nice distress marks that I’m assuming Napoleon or Jesus or whoever was around back then didn’t much care for. If only they knew what we know now: Never, ever throw anything out! The stylish ditch diggers of a hundred years ago could never of imagined how their streetwear tastes would one day shape the fashion world.

Soiled Speedos from your European vacation? Ziplock and store in fridge. Cheetos stained Alf shirt with suspicious dried urine blotch? Insure for $5k. We’re talking potentially priceless artifacts here - literally treasure for your grandchildren. Just think, it’ll be like handing out gold nuggets at your funeral, except in a Salvation Army kind of way. BAM! Another killer Osaka Nines idea. I’m going pay-per view with this blog. Who’s with me?

This preppy style leather and ribbon belt from Junmen is suited for the season’s lighter colors, and aims to add just the right accent to your denim, cargo or short pants. The belt is made from natural and synthetic leather and comes in two colors, red (shown) and blue. The item costs around $70usd.

The only thing I don’t like about a good belt is that it’s unlikely to get seen much, at least with my own sloppy dress style. So I’m proposing a new fashion trend, for, let’s say 2010, when I think we’ll be ready to wear our belts over our shirts and about half way up the chest. It could totally help me out in certain situations. Like this fantasy date scenario:

So the only good thing I’m wearing is this Gucci belt that I stole off my roommate, but I have to put it on somehow so that it’s pretty much the only thing she notices. So I show up to dinner wearing tiny cut off shorts, sandals, no shirt and the Gucci strapped over my shoulder like its Rambo’s ammo belt, and the whole thing works out surprisingly well until the belt comes off and my mojo vanishes like a pack of Extenze at a Hummer dealership. Damn you stylish belt! This would of never been a problem had I worn another one around my forehead!

I can’t wait for 2010…

There’s something wonderful about Japanese service. On the bustling island, it is said that the customer is King, and you really begin to feel it when some minimum wage server sprints from the kitchen to your table just to shave three seconds off your wait time. In Japan, everyone is working like hell for everyone else, and they always seem to find ways to serve the customer better.

So when I saw this unusual picture of washers and dryers sitting in Denime Tokyo, I immediately thought of how cool this service would be if it were available in all denim shops. In truth, Denime Tokyo is not the only place that provides this full service. Now, other stores, like the best Evisu boutiques, have caught on and give the option to shrink and hem purchases for next-day pickup. But Denime Tokyo shortens the turnaround to a couple hours, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen washers so prominently placed in a boutique before!

When you see raw denim, in it’s clown-sized original form, stiff like cardboard and only awkwardly wearable around family members and empathizing denim connoisseurs, providing an in-store shrink and cut gives the option for immediate gratification. It’s kind of like tossing a craps table, a couple strippers, and Hunter S. Thompson’s briefcase in front of a loaded Daniel Baldwin. It gets the plastic swiping (or chopping)!

Anyway, I’d love to see this service offered by more high-end denim shops, even though I’d probably side with caution and do the shrink myself.

A lot of times, I look at the youth of Japan and wonder where they get their inspiration to look so outrageously defiant. There’s the ganguro and yamamba of yesteryear, and the many other tribal micro-cultures that flourish everyday amongst the country’s rebellious youth.

Then I take a look at some of Japan’s traditional wear.

On the right, we have some apprentice geishas (maiko) loitering in Gion, Kyoto. On the left, a modern ganguro chats it up. My analysis: They’ve dug the tropical batshit crazy look for centuries.

And just because something is labeled ‘traditional’, doesn’t make it any less likely to bring back memories of staring at old people on the bus after inhaling a canister full of melting Bubblicious, smoldering cigarettes, and humid Mountain Dew vapors. Not that I tried that over the weekend. OK, so I might of. But it was a dare. And for charity. Hey, at least I fared better than Cody’s salvia induced narcoleptic ape-man regression.

Ever wondered how distressed denim is made? Yea, me neither. So it came as a bit of a surprise to learn that Levi’s doesn’t loan their jeans out to impoverished Cambodian farm laborers, or hobos in LA, to get that realistic weathered look.

No. The process is performed by a crack team of denim specialists delivering all kinds of abuse to the freshly dipped cotton. It’s kind of like an S&M dungeon, but for denim. And strangely, I’m not getting off from watching any of it. Well, not as much as having a pair of raw selvedge jeans smudge all over my white seat cushions.

So, if you’ve given up on destroying your own pair of raw denim jeans, make sure to buy some from a top-notch outfit like these guys. The operatives look like they’re working out of Cadbury’s secret lair. You know, the one used during the cold war to surgically pack caramel into those scrumptious chocolate squares. Or, I’ve misinterpreted the entire scene and they’re doing something totally out of Scarface. Hey, it never hurts to drag a nasal straw across your imported third world jeans hitting all the whiskering and bleach lines. Ya never know…

Large magazine scan from Smart Max after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »