Archive for the 'Accessories' category

Harakiri Cobra Shoehorn

Apr 15 2008 Published by under Accessories

Cobra shoehorn by haraKIRI

Rude dinner guests? Give them the boot! But before you do, offer to help them put on their shoes. This haraKIRI cobra shoehorn is designed to get people quickly out of your house. Or kill them. Because, if angled wrong, this silent ankle biter will have your company dead on the front porch. “Honey, we need the shovels again.”

I don’t care what you might have seen in movies, always dig graves in the backyard; not the front, and gardening past midnight will likely wake up the whole bloody condo. The next thing you know, you’re being chewed out at the monthly tenants meeting. And it has nothing to do with peeing in the elevators. Hey, it’s not like I’m taking number 2′s in there. The laundry room has much better reading material.

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Obelisk Reptilian Wallet

Apr 14 2008 Published by under Accessories

Wallet by Obelick

An eye catching wallet by accessories specialists Obelisk. Intricate pattens and textures cover this entire wallet. The reptile skin and micro-detailed artwork blend together in rich colors and style.

But a word of warning: this wallet only accepts platinum credit cards and stacks of crisp hundreds. Yes, I tried to fit in a bus pass and some loose change. It was a definite no-go.

I guess l’ll just have to make use of my George Costanza inspired mini-accordion wallet for a little while longer. Well, until my Nigerian friend gets back from validating my savings account. Oh hush. I’ll let you in on the scheme after I chrome my first Enzo. 

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TroisO Nemesis Bracelet

Apr 12 2008 Published by under Accessories

TroisO Nemesis Bracelet yin-yang

TroisO has released this incredible bracelet that comes with all sorts of fine details forged into its silver links. This bracelet is a part of the Think Balance collection, which asks us to evaluate our lives from the ying-yang philosophy of the East.

Speaking of balance, wearing this hefty piece on your wrist would definitely warp your posture. Being way too cheap to buy a second one, your best bet would be to hold a dumbbell in your other hand while politely telling your driving instructor that it’s the only way to stop driving around in circles. But after displaying your mastery of the continuous U-turn, he seems unimpressed, and you’re forced to boast about your knowledge of NASCAR. He still fails you, but that doesn’t stop you from driving school buses. Man, some people just don’t understand Japanese streetwear at all!

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Citizen Campanola Watch

Apr 10 2008 Published by under Accessories, Watches

Citizen Campanola Grand Complication Mechanical Watch

Citizen presents their finest quartz driven mechanical watch. Normally costing thousands more for a time piece of this design, Citizen has managed to price this affordably, starting at around $1500. Each watch from this collection has been impeccably handcrafted and features a distinct look. Nowadays, it is rare to find a mechanical watch this cheap and of this quality. Import this watch from 21 Jewels in Singapore, or Higuchi San in Japan.

I like the day and night indicator. I know there’s a fancy word for it, but the rest of my browser windows are loading porn. The funny Moon Man looks trapped inside the watch, but every night he gets a chance to peer out at your dresser and wonder why anyone would need the entire line of Axe deodorant. You’d think that by getting ‘roof duty’ at your job everyday would be a clear enough message from your co-workers. Yes, you’re watching for airplanes. Even terrorists hate the Sharper Image. 

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Justin Davis Lion Keeper Silver Ring

Apr 09 2008 Published by under Accessories, Jewelry

Justin Davis Lion Keeper Silver Ring

Another amazing piece from Justin Davis. Silver and cubic zirconia are forged together to produce this jaw dropping design from the Nubia collection. I like how the lion has a ring of its own. It’s like he’s sort of saying, “Dude, my head might be mounted on your puny finger, but at least my ring has a diamond.”

Looking down at your finger, you think, this lion is right, how come my ring is now only second best!? After a brief 30 minute tug-of-war for the diamond you stop shouting profanities at your finger. But only because you want to remain in the movie theatre. Your girlfriend says she’s so embarrassed, but that’s because she’s fat. 

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