Night club fashion designer Varentine (that’s not a typo), has produced this interesting long sleeved shirt. Designed for a slim build, the shirt’s cut follows the elegant contours of a champaign binging, cigarette eating, spiritually famished Osaka male host. If you think that description is in anyway exaggerated, watch The Great Happiness Space: Tale of an Osaka Love Thief. It’s practically my bible. 

An innovative ‘D ring’ lies halfway up the arm and serves to anchor the cuff. Incase you want to show off your bulging biceps as you do arm curls with the karaoke mic.

A stylish belt by the glamor outfit, Charm Cult. The worn purple leather and aged brass buckle reminds me of many a late night at the penthouse suite, MGM Grand.

You know, the one filled with loose women, unlimited cigarettes and a Tudor style Emperor-sized bed where I blast off one of my famous guitar riffs after scoring with three groupies. All of them women. Wait. I’m thinking of my other job. Hotel cler.. I mean rock star. Regardless, never doubt the power of having a decent belt buckle. It’s like adding an extra 3-inches to your wang.  

Remember those BMX gloves from the mid-80’s that were once the statement of cool? Stillgreen has produced a pair of insane gloves that’ll have you thumbing the phonebook looking for old members of your B-boy crew. Featuring real python and lamb skin, they are of superb build quality and comfort.

Apparently, the gloves fit so damn well that picking up small objects, like coins in your pocket, is not a problem. Yes, the website actually says that in Japanese. What a clever way to market these $250 necessities. Like you’re going put on some Python skin gloves and challenge an Eskimo to picking up pennies off a frozen lake. And although your girlfriend swears she isn’t Eskimo, how does she explain her patchy mustache?

Stylish, dressy and loaded with all kinds of surprises, these shoes by Hiromu Takahara will make an incredible statement in any situation. A slightly worn and dusty look slides over delicately patched and worn textures.

If your Japanese streetwear wardrobe lacks any cyber-cowboy dress items, you obviously haven’t been watching enough anime. A person should be able to dress up like a 23rd century intergalactic cow herder and still be dealt with in a respectful and understanding manner. Even in Compton. Hey, if a rapper can wear a bed sheet and call it clothing, they shouldn’t have a problem with me creepin’ through the hood looking like Gackt. 

Rude dinner guests? Give them the boot! But before you do, offer to help them put on their shoes. This haraKIRI cobra shoehorn is designed to get people quickly out of your house. Or kill them. Because, if angled wrong, this silent ankle biter will have your company dead on the front porch. “Honey, we need the shovels again.”

I don’t care what you might have seen in movies, always dig graves in the backyard; not the front, and gardening past midnight will likely wake up the whole bloody condo. The next thing you know, you’re being chewed out at the monthly tenants meeting. And it has nothing to do with peeing in the elevators. Hey, it’s not like I’m taking number 2’s in there. The laundry room has much better reading material.

An eye catching wallet by accessories specialists Obelisk. Intricate pattens and textures cover this entire wallet. The reptile skin and micro-detailed artwork blend together in rich colors and style.

But a word of warning: this wallet only accepts platinum credit cards and stacks of crisp hundreds. Yes, I tried to fit in a bus pass and some loose change. It was a definite no-go.

I guess l’ll just have to make use of my George Costanza inspired mini-accordion wallet for a little while longer. Well, until my Nigerian friend gets back from validating my savings account. Oh hush. I’ll let you in on the scheme after I chrome my first Enzo. 

Another stunning design by Yasuyuki Ishii. This time he’s constructed a pair of post-apocalyptic looking leather boots through meticulous patchwork and sewing. These are the boots a fashion conscious road warrior from the future would wear as he saves a town from a traveling band of ex-WWE stars. Sorry, did I say stars?

Anyway, these boots look like they could really kick some ass, but I’d be careful wearing them up Mt. Fuji or someplace. Sherpas would undoubtably make a grab for them in your sleep, leaving you to ride the escalator up with the rest of the old people and Uniqlo staff. They must have a Uniqlo up there by now.

TroisO has released this incredible bracelet that comes with all sorts of fine details forged into its silver links. This bracelet is a part of the Think Balance collection, which asks us to evaluate our lives from the ying-yang philosophy of the East.

Speaking of balance, wearing this hefty piece on your wrist would definitely warp your posture. Being way too cheap to buy a second one, your best bet would be to hold a dumbbell in your other hand while politely telling your driving instructor that it’s the only way to stop driving around in circles. But after displaying your mastery of the continuous U-turn, he seems unimpressed, and you’re forced to boast about your knowledge of NASCAR. He still fails you, but that doesn’t stop you from driving school buses. Man, some people just don’t understand Japanese streetwear at all!

Dress for comfort, but don’t forget about style! IZREEL has produced this suave new track jacket with many fine details. Carefully chosen colors and fabric, will guarantee this coat to look anything but ordinary. It’s not exactly cheap at around $400, but that hasn’t stopped this hot item from selling out.

I don’t see how the Japanese can afford so much gear. I mean, after personal robots, giant manga collections, and a hefty pachinko budget, where do they cough up the dough to look so trendy? Maybe it’s video games. Maybe the score you get when you play Capcom’s Knights of The Round is what the Japanese get paid in Yen. And for all these years we’ve been plugging our quarters away just to write C.O.K. in the high scores.  

Citizen presents their finest quartz driven mechanical watch. Normally costing thousands more for a time piece of this design, Citizen has managed to price this affordably, starting at around $1500. Each watch from this collection has been impeccably handcrafted and features a distinct look. Nowadays, it is rare to find a mechanical watch this cheap and of this quality. Import this watch from 21 Jewels in Singapore, or Higuchi San in Japan.

I like the day and night indicator. I know there’s a fancy word for it, but the rest of my browser windows are loading porn. The funny Moon Man looks trapped inside the watch, but every night he gets a chance to peer out at your dresser and wonder why anyone would need the entire line of Axe deodorant. You’d think that by getting ‘roof duty’ at your job everyday would be a clear enough message from your co-workers. Yes, you’re watching for airplanes. Even terrorists hate the Sharper Image.